


Lousy Lepi

by JRCash



Category: Peter Rabbit (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Be very very quiet Hux is hunting wabbits, Gen, Gingerpilot if you squint, Hux has a rabbit problem, Im sorry this just wouldn't leave me alone, Nothing says I have a crush on you like a vermin problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 07:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13608471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JRCash/pseuds/JRCash
Summary: General Hux is less than pleased to find a certain creature has infiltrated his ship.





	Lousy Lepi

**Author's Note:**

> According to Wookieepedia, lepi are the GFFA version of rabbits.

“Sir, do you have a moment?”

Hux barely glanced up from his datapad, the desk in front of him littered with files and reports that needed attending to. Even the most mundane of paperwork suddenly seemed more important than whatever the lieutenant before him now had to say.

Apparently Hux had made just enough eye contact with the man that he felt the need to continue.

“We've received a report that the vegetation field in sector 3-12 has a lepi infestation”.

“Send someone to deal with it then. I have more pressing matters than vermin control” Hux said bluntly as he gestured to the messy desk before him to emphasize his point that the man was clearly wasting his time.

“Well, sir” the lieutenant continued nervously “We have cause to believe that the vermin were released purposely. It is possible that the Resistance intercepted a delivery or worse, has someone working from the inside”.

Hux exhaled slowly as he reached for his mug of tea that he had forgotten hours prior. Taking a long sip, the bitter tea had long gone cold and did little to calm the General. This was more than just some vermin aboard his ship, this was a possible security issue and something he _did_ need to attend to. Setting the mug back down onto the desk, Hux pushed back his chair to stand, causing the nervous Lieutenant to snap to attention .

“Tell my assistant that I'll be down on level III until further notice and to cancel any meetings planned for this afternoon” Hux ordered as he swept past the man and out the door.

* * *

 

The base levels of the Finalizer were utilitarian at best, a stark contrast to the upper levels that were polished silver and black. They were used for storage, room after room along a narrow hallway filled with every item needed to sustain thousands of crew members and officers aboard a ship. At the far end of the hall, space had been set aside for a scientific project of sorts. Hux vaguely remembered signing off on the grant that would allow young members of the First Order’s agricultural program to test growing fresh produce aboard a star destroyer. He remembered even less when he had attended the meeting where the students and their advisers had deemed the project a success, leaving the project to be tended to by droids and an automated system, any humans who once were invested in the project long gone. Hux never gave much thought to where the potato rice that sat alongside his nerf steak or the jogan fruit syrup that was drizzled over his dessert _actually_ came from. He had always thought of it as perk of being a high ranking official, a well deserved fresh meal after years of bland rehydrated mash and ration bars he survived off of during his Academy years.

The room was illuminated from above with bright yellow bulbs that buzzed faintly in the otherwise silent space. They mimicked natural sunlight, programmed to dim and brighten on a cycle, as if the room was on actual planet, not in the belly of a ship floating through space. Neat rows of vegetation stretched vertically down the room, synth soil nested around the bases of hundreds, if not thousands, of various types of plants. Tall gapanga trees bordered the room near the exterior walls, their branches hanging low with ripened fruit awaiting to be picked. Hwotha berry bushes were nestled neatly between the trees, glossy green leaves bursting with purples and blue spheres. In the center of the room, rows of assorted vegetables grew: Antarian peas wound up trellises, leafy greens and viney tomatoes dotted the spaces between.

It was idellic in an odd way, too perfect and too planned to actually be natural. Hux took in the strange feeling of being surrounded by living and growing things, forgetting for a moment that he was in fact thousands of kilometers in the vastness of space. He had spent most of his life aboard ships, memories of fresh air and actual vegetation were few and far between.

Hux reached down with an outstretched hand to brush against the fluffy tops of some leaves when a green furred creature popped up, wide eyed with a carrot grasped firmly in its front paws. Startled, Hux jumped back. He had momentarily forgotten what had brought him down the the lowest levels of his ship. Quickly collecting himself, he narrowed his eyes at the lepi hopping away down the walkway.

“Get back here!” Hux yelled out as he unholstered his blaster and took off after the bouncing green furred creature who was quickly darting towards the cover of the blumfruit bushes.

Firing off two shots in its direction, the lepi slipped between the thick leaves unharmed, much to Hux’s dismay.

“Kriff!” Hux shouted out, his voice echoing from the walls of the empty room “Stupid rascal!”

Hux decided he needed a plan. He had no idea how many lepi had infiltrated the indoor farm and firing off blaster bolts while trying to chase them down was a waste of energy on his part. He was a man of strategy, and was not about to be outsmarted by a furry creature.

Making his way towards a gapanga tree, Hux sat down at the base, pulling out his data pad from his coat pocket to make a rough sketch of the area. He marked where he spotted the first lepi along with it’s escape route.

He would sit and watch, observe, and formulate his plan. In a way, it was like planning a battle. See how his enemy moved and then attacking at their weakest point.

* * *

 

Two standard hours past and Hux had begun to take great pleasure in sitting quietly beneath the gapanga tree, scanning the rows of vegetation, waiting for movement amongst the leaves.

The lepi remained quiet for the first quarter hour, hidden away beneath the leaves, but quickly became braver as time past. Hux documented them each time one would pop up, tracking the creatures as they hopped towards the carrot plants, noting that they seemed to favor them the most. A few other lepi were bolder, attempting to knock low hanging cucumbers from the trellises, to little success. After each successful robbery, the lepi would quickly hop towards one of four hwotha bushes that grew against the far wall of the room. Hux determined that their “base” must be located in the area, a quick holonet search providing him with the information that lepi burrows in the wild generally had multiple entrances to protect against predators, hence the lepi darting to different bushes upon returning with their spoils.

A lepi, the largest Hux had seen during his observation so far, popped up between two tomato plants a few meters in front of him. The creature nervously sniffed at the air for a moment before cautiously hopping out from between the plants. It seemed unaware of Hux watching its movements as it crossed between rows to the carrot plants, sitting back on haunches in the walkway, completely unguarded in the open.

Hux seized the opportunity. Grasping for his blaster at his side, he ever so slowly pushed himself up into a crouched position, aiming his sights on the creature. The lepi’s large ears perked up, the green fur at the tips bristling, but the animal remained unmoved. Hux pointed his blaster in front of him, squaring up a clean shot, his finger hovering over the trigger. The lepi’s head turned, noticing Hux. With wide eyes, the creature leapt forward into the thick foliage right as Hux fired off a shot, the blaster bolt cutting through the silence, ringing out as it impacted into the opposite durasteel wall.

Letting out a frustrated huff, Hux tucked his blaster back into its holster, disappointed in himself. He had been trained to fall a human from 500 yards, yet he failed to down a lepi that was only a few away.

Settling back under the tree, Hux picked up his datapad. Surely there had to be an easier way to rid his ship of these vermin. He returned to his work, noting the actions of the latest lepi engrossing himself in carefully scanning the vegetation for any further movements.

* * *

 

“Sir, it’s nearly 1900. You've been down here for hours”.

The nervous Lieutenant that had visited Hux in his office earlier had returned, still shaking slightly as he spoke. He had not anticipated to find the Hux resting against a trunk of a gapanga tree, engrossed in the datapad on his lap with a furrowed brow. The Lieutenant bit his tongue, wishing he could have left the unfriendly General alone to find out that the sprinkler system that mimicked a rain shower activated at approximately 19:15.

“So?” Hux replied bluntly.

He wasn't aware that so much time had past, yet he was unwilling to give up just yet. Part way through the afternoon he had grown frustrated. He wanted to fetch a thermo-detonator himself and chuck in into the room, damage to his ship be damned and lepi problem solved. He was too determined of a man to take the easy way out, steadfastly returning to his battle plans instead.

“There's a call for you, Sir. They've been on hold for quite some time already”.

“Fine” Hux huffed sharply as he stood from the base of the tree, dusting away bits of mulch that had clung to his coat.

Letting the Lieutenant exit the room before him, Hux paused. Turning back towards the rows of plants, he scanned the area one last time.

“I'll be back for you” he whispered, his voice threatening any lepi that dared to have a ear raised at the moment.

* * *

 

Hux rode the turbolift in silence with the young Lieutenant, watching from the corner of his eye as the man fidgeted nervously as they ascended levels. The corners of Hux’s mouth ticked up slightly as the Lieutenant absentmindedly picked at a hangnail when he thought Hux was not looking. He reviled in the fact he had that effect on people, silently hoping the lepi felt the same in his presence.

Upon exiting the turbolift, Hux entered his office, noticing the flashing light on his comlink still blinking as it sat atop his desk. Whoever was on the other end was incredibly patient. Rounding the edge of his desk, Hux reached for the device, his eye ticking up at the Lieutenant who was still standing in the doorway.

“You are dismissed” Hux said, glaring at the man, slightly annoyed that he needed to follow him like a lost musk hound all the way back to his office.

“Thank you, Sir” the man replied firmly before turning on his heel and shutting the door behind him.

Sitting down, Hux clicked his comlink on. “This is General Hux”.

“Did you get my presents?” a cocky voice over the com-fed questioned.

Hux’s brow furrowed. He knew that voice.

“Dameron” Hux replied flatly with an exasperated sigh. Of course it was the taunting rebel scum.

“You haven't sent me flowers or chocolate, so I'm not exactly sure what you mean” Hux deadpanned back.

“Lepi are kinda cute really. I wouldn't want them destroying _my_ food source, but once you get past the buck teeth and the weird green fur, they’re almost adorable”.

Hux clenched his comlink tightly in his palm, nearly cracking the plastic casing as he snarled back. “You'll pay for this, flyboy”.


End file.
